“My lineage goes back 4,463 years to when my great, great, great, great grandmother Cleo the Cute first earned her rightful place at the head of her household. And ever since, we clever kitties have passed down these pawerful secrets to help our hoomans know who’s really in charge.”

– Queen Smittens

 
1. Shhhh… our meows were made just for you. 

Other than when we were hungry kittens, the truth is that we don’t meow when you’re around. So why do we do it? We’ve worked out that our meows subconsciously remind you of a baby crying… and that means you’re much more likely to make it all better again with naps in the sunshine, grooming sessions, and an extra treat or two.

2. Cat videos? Shhhh… that was us

If you’ve ever caught us curled up on your keyboard, you’ll know that computers and cats just seem to go paw in paw. (Um helloo… “mouse” pads?!) What’s less well-known is our big-eyed-tiny-nosed-round-faced cuteness makes hoomans want to take care of us. From Surprised Kitty to Keyboard Cat, we’ve all decided to star in millions of videos to keep you coming back for more!

3. Shhhh…. you stick to our schedule

Sometimes my family are late to the office, miss their yoga class, or just furget what day of the week it is. But no matter what, they always feed me breakfast as soon as they wake up. They’ll always encourage my biscuit making skills. And they’ll always serve dinner at 6pm sharp. You see, us cats really love a routine. That’s why we’ve trained you to follow it.

4. Shhhh… we’ve discovered the meaning of life

I’ll keep this one to the point. You do the washing. We do bird watching. You do 8-hour days. We do 16-hour naps. You scrape dishes. We scratch to our heart’s content. You make dinner. We eat it. You pay bills. We play games. Should I go on?

5. We really DO love you!

This one shouldn’t be a secret, but what can I say? Haters gonna hate. We’ve been called cold, aloof, and standoffish for years. But now the secret’s out. And it turns all you cat people were right all along. Because when the scientists gave us a choice between food, toys, and hanging with our hoomans… we chose you. So, thanks for sticking up for us. We’ll always stick by you.

Now that you have the inside scoop into the secret lives of cats, we’d love to know what you think. Have you noticed your feline friend acting this way? Have you got any more secrets to share? Let us know in the comments below!